giving thanks

today i'd like to stop a moment and depart from my usual venting and instead, give thanks for everything i have in my life right now. it's not that i'm not grateful for my life or appreciate what i have - you have to understand that from years of living in nyc, life is so fast paced, you don't have time to sit and contemplate what you have or what you have achieved - instead your mind is racing ahead thinking about your next day, your next year, your next achievement, your next step up the ladder or strategy for your next success. you are constantly pulled away from the moment by distractions like your blackberry or dinner plans or planning your month's agenda as well as your upcoming deadlines and presentations or client meetings. you exist in the future, not the past or present, and if you take a moment to rest, you feel the whoosh of life leaving you behind, and you feel an irresistible urge to catch up before you become obsolete.

but i no longer exist in that environment, which is part of what i struggle with each day. it's like when you are driving on the highway for hours, and you pull off onto the next exit and as you slow down to make that turn, your body and senses are so velocitized that you don't even realize that you are going much faster than you think.
i am still velocitized from my nyc lifestyle and am slowly trying to acclimate myself to my new slower life here in Istanbul so that i don't get the "bends".
so after months of painfully fighting my new environment, comparing it to my old life, and venting at every chance to make myself feel better, my new strategy is to really take advantage the free time i have - something i have never had before. so to honor this new stage in my assimilation, i am taking time to take stock of what i have, recognize all the good things in my life thus far and be thankful for it all.
and i have a lot to be thankful for. when i contemplate my painful start in life, being orphaned and malnutritioned as an infant, i am overcome with gratitude at being adopted and brought to the US and given the opportunity to make my life what it is today. i can hardly imagine what my life would have been like growing up an orphaned girl in Korea.
I am thankful for the education i was given and the success of my career.
I am thankful for my family and friends and the joy & richness they have brought & continue to bring to my life.
I am thankful for all my life experiences, all of which have made me the person I am today.
I am thankful for finally finding the love of my life and the opportunity to fulfill my late in life wish to create a new, precious life with the person i love and respect and to build a new life together.
I am thankful for the kindness i have been shown by strangers, as well as those i know.
I am thankful for the good health, comfort & security i have.
I am thankful for the ability to achieve the goals i continue to make and my ability to make my life what i want it to be.